One Year...

It has officially been a year since I arrived in Johannesburg South Africa. I will be the first to say that working in a ministry isn’t easy. It’s THE hardest job. Satan hates when Christians pull together and bring glory to Jesus. So naturally he likes to bring chaos, destruction, negativity and disorder in. I’ve had to learn lots of new things in my personal walk with the Lord. He’s been teaching me lots and I haven’t been the most responsive BUT I have learned the hard way that I cannot live for Him, without Him.

My Job

For those of you who don’t know exactly what I do at Door of Hope I’ll explain. I am the Liaison Officer (secretary) and one of the Volunteer Coordinators. As a Liaison Officer, I answer the main email address for Door of Hope, coordinate visitor appointments,  greet visitors and give them a tour of our main baby home, answer the phone, collect the food/milk the staff order for the week for three homes, organize and count stock, keep up with all stock and inventory and run errands. As the Volunteer Coordinator I transport the volunteers to and from the airport, prepare their rooms, orientate them before they start work, assist with transporting to stores and organize their Appreciation Party before they depart. To break up my day of sitting at the computer or organizing I bring a toddler in the office with me. It’s always so refreshing to have a little one in the office. It’s a good reminder of why I’m here and of course having a child around defuses the tension or negative feelings that might have been triggered. I love spending time with the babies and toddlers when I’m able to.

Adoptions for 2016

What a wonderful year it has been. Door of Hope had 41 adoptions, 17 reunited with family and 2 other (relocated to other children’s home). It’s been amazing to see and be a part of so many babies/toddlers adoptions. Out of all the things in this world, adoption is definitely one of my favorites. To see these little ones united with their forever family is the most beautiful thing. I love knowing these babies have now been chosen, accepted and loved by a family who have been waiting months/years for them. Some have prayed, cried and rejoiced in the fact that they will now have a new member of their family. When the unwanted, abandoned and neglected become wanted, chosen and loved it’s such a stunning picture.

Thank You

I want to say thank you all for your support, encouragement, prayers, love and kind wishes to me during my time here. It’s hard to believe I have been here a year. Sometimes it feels as if I’ve been here forever and then other days it feels like I have just arrived. At the moment the plan is to return home the beginning of October. If anything changes, I will keep you updated. 

Refiner's Fire...

The month of May has been a very difficult one. The newness has set in and the “honeymoon” is over. Now my committed feet are completely planted. In that, of course, comes the big wrecking ball of insecurity, loneliness, worry and negativity. We all know the enemy doesn’t like it when followers of Jesus follow Jesus and do His work. He seeks to destroy it and create chaos. I don’t like sharing personal struggles publicly but in order to receive Godly consul, encouragement and prayer we need to be transparent with each other. So here is my transparency.

Here lately I have felt exhausted physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It’s been going on for a while and is getting much better. Without the encouragement of my Jesus family, I know I wouldn’t be doing as well. I’ve had so many Godly people send me scripture, words of wisdom and prayers. I’ve been so thankful for it. I am very blessed by this amazing community the Lord has given me.

Staying focused isn’t a strong point of mine. I tend to be very forgetful and in that, when I plan to do something I usually forget what that is within a couple of minutes. I have notes all over my desk at work that help me remember things. In saying that, I get very distracted during my quiet time and I also forget to do it sometimes. Just being honest people. No one freak out. I’ll be even more honest and say people who act like they have everything together and they live this perfect Christian life are usually my least favorite people to be around. So there’s that.

So here are a few little nuggets I’ve learned this month or should I say relearned. Spending time with Jesus is vital to our walk with Him. I can’t have a relationship with someone I don’t talk to and don’t spend time with. Second nugget is I can’t properly function as a follower of Jesus without community. It’s knitted into my being and that’s how I’m wired. Without community I’m a wreck. I thrive being around people who love the Lord. Just like sushi needs rice, I need community.

I’ve named this blog Refiner’s Fire because I want to include a devotion that spoke to me recently. Being in the mission field is super hard people. I now have so much more respect for our missionaries. They are on the front lines of the battle field and need so much of our encouragement. I would urge you to adopt a missionary family to consistently pray for. I’m sure a lot of you already do this. You could even have a picture of them in your house somewhere to remind you of them. I’m realizing more and more the missionaries are our true heroes.

Below is my devotion, I hope it inspires you as much as it did me.

Revelation 3:19 says those whom I love I rebuke and discipline.

Rarely do we view the difficult circumstances of life as statements of Jesus’ love for us. We more likely interpret them as interruptions in our walk with God. In our best moments, we may interpret these interruptions as tools God will use to stretch our faith; in our worst moments, we may even see them as His disfavor. But we still tend to view them as distractions from the course he would have us pursue.

But God’s hand is in even the most difficult circumstances, letting affliction have its deepest results. This is His chosen path for us, not a diversion from it. Whether He is letting hardship strengthen our faith, or disciplining us for some sin, as in this verse, He is always Lord of our situation. The superficial source of our hardship may be easier to discern; we see Satan, other people, chance, our own sin, or a variety of other causes as the root of our affliction. But God is sovereign over all of them, and He is specific in His purposes. If we are in pain, He knows it and He allowed it to happen.

We can take comfort in the fact that God id behind our trials. He does not train those whom He does not intend to use in wonderful ways. Though we may suffer at times, we suffer with a purpose. He has a plan for us that only this type of hardship will prepare us for. He will develop our character to prepare us for His purposes, and His method is like a refiner’s fire.

Many times we pray to know Christ better, to have deeper fellowship with Him, and to be more fruitful in His work. We must learn that this prayer will likely result in more of the refiner’s fire, more time in the training camp of His kingdom. Should we stop praying? Of course not. No one who has been used mightily by God has avoided the difficult developing of their character and faith. They have been through the fiery trials and would willingly go through them again. 

Community is essential...

When I knew I was coming back to South Africa I was excited for so many reasons. One of the reasons was community. I knew that I would be part of a Jesus loving community in the church of Riverside and through Door of Hope. Being an extrovert I crave time with people. I love being around people. However, the older I get the more I realize I do enjoy being alone as well but that’s not the topic of this blog. Can I just be honest? Real honest with you? Are you sure? Even if you might get your feelings hurt? Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.

When I was in college I was actively involved in a Gospel driven, mission minded, non-believer reaching church. A church that made me excited to go to. A church I would be able to worship freely, hear a convicting message that would make me think and prompt me to change. This was a church that I enjoyed being a part of. When I returned home from college, I couldn’t find that anywhere. I couldn’t find a church that welcomed older singles, worshiped freely and taught convicting Gospel centered messages. I craved community. I craved to be a part of the body of Christ. I went to a church 30 minutes from my home but with it being in another town it was hard to get connected with people. For THREE years I’ve been listening to podcasts (Matt Chandler, David Platt, Francis Chan, Bill Johnson and Kris Vallotton). Did you read that? THREE years I’ve been church hunting and coming up empty handed, broken and alone. During this time I would pray “Jesus, I know it’s not about me but I can’t go to a church just to take up another seat on a pew. I want to be involved and active and serve.” And even in that I still sound selfish.

Now that I’m back, I have that. I have a community, a place to serve, a church that convicts and prompts to go and be the hands and feet of Jesus. I am so thankful I am apart of bible studies and small groups. As a believer, being a part of community is essential to your walk and allows you to be sharpened and grow. Jesus brings people in your life at different times to show you new things. I’m sure there is a reason why I was in a church rut for three years. It did teach me how important community is and to be thankful when you have it. It taught me how much I crave to be a part of a church that preaches “meat” instead of “milk”. This is only my opinion, so don’t get too upset. Jesus is the reason of life and community is essential to that life.

April showers...

 Hello sweet friends! I hope you are well and enjoying spring! I know my friends and family in the south don’t know what spring is. We leave winter and the next day it’s in the 90's. It is getting colder here. Currently the weather is in the mid 40's and low 70's. I’m finding South Africa fall very nice.

April was a fun and stressful month. We had a fundraiser for Door of Hope and I helped with coordinating it. I had lots of documents and paper work to have approved and signed before we held the event. Then the day of the Superhero Fun Run came. I was in charge of coordinating games for the kids to play. We had lots of volunteers come and help which was great. We had a wonderful time.

We have had so much trouble with technology lately. The office phone didn’t work for 6 weeks and then the internet was down. Guess what guys, my job is to answer the phone and emails. Even though I found other things that needed to be done around the office, it was a bit slow at work for a while. Which was nice with the stress of the Fun Run behind us, we were able relax in the quiet a bit. The phones are down again so we are just praying they are fixed soon. Things take time to be fixed here. We can’t just call someone and they be here in 15 minutes and fix it immediately. Different country, different people, different way of life.

The May newsletter was sent out yesterday. If you would like to receive it, you can go online to www.doorofhope.co.za and sign up for it. Hannah and I had an introduction feature in it.

I moved out of Baby House 1 and moved into Don and Cheryl’s home for 6 weeks as they are in the states promoting Door of Hope and Arise Ministries. The flat that I will be staying in for the time I’m here is being renovated. We just moved back to Baby House 1 because Don and Cheryl return from the States this week. Hannah and I were talking about moving back to the Baby House. We felt like we were on vacation, it was nice while it lasted but we were ready to come home. This morning when I went to have breakfast the aunties kept saying welcome home. I didn’t realize how much I missed the aunties, babies and toddlers. I didn’t get to see them very often because I work at another baby home. It was nice to be back.

I want to open the floor up for you to ask questions and I answer them in my next blog. I don’t really know what you guys want to read about. Writing isn’t my strong suit and I forget everything so I need some help from you. If you would like to know something, anything, please send me a Facebook message or email at aredden87@yahoo.com and I will answer it on the next blog. I’m thankful for each of you. You, my sweet friends, are my favorite people.  

March Musings...

Hello friends!! I’ve been busy working on a fundraising event we are having the 23^rd of April. The month of March was great. I was able to settle into my job and learn new things. I’ve enjoyed it so far and I’m excited to continue to learn and grow. 

We have had so much fun at the baby house. The toddlers are becoming their own little person more and more every day. Speaking of more and more, that’s one of their favorite words currently. Any food they are given, they love to say “more, more, more!” It’s so funny because we know they just enjoy saying it because they’ve learned something new. We have had a few small babies a bit under the weather. With the seasons changing this is always the prime time for our little ones to suffer from some form of cold. What’s so sad is if their noses are congested then that effects their feeding time. No one likes for their feeding time to be effected. J The big babies are learning to sit nicely and interacting more. We had two of our toddlers relocate to another baby home to be exposed to the other toddlers, aunties and uncles. They will most likely be among the first to go to the Village.  

We as a staff enjoy loving them and teaching them how to be caring, kind and good friends to each other. We have a big responsibility to make sure we are making a positive impact on these children. They are the next generation and our world needs more selfless, caring, compassionate, strong leaders. We have received 17 babies, had 7 adoptions, 1 relocated to another home and 1 reunited with family so far this year. We always pray that these babies are given the very best in their situation and trust the Lord to work everything out for them. He has always done so and we believe He will continue to do so.

Can you believe...

Can you believe I’ve been here for a little over a month? Me either. The time is already flying by. Since I’ve been here we have had three adoptions, started a new job, taken babies to the hospital, had two driving lessons, went to a woman’s luncheon, gone to three bible studies, went to a place called Bounce that is nothing but a room full of trampolines, visited the Door of Hope Village, made new friends, built on old friendships and settled in fast and easy. So the month of February has been busy and exciting.

I’ve learned that being uncomfortable is a good place for the Lord to stretch me. Being away from home gets me out of my comfort zone and have to put myself out there to meet new people and create a new life. I know I’ve said it many times but I will say it again, guys, I’m living the dream. I am serving in the area the Lord wants me and can use me. I know He is growing and stretching me as I am sometimes out of my comfort zone, yet when that happens I’ve learned to get excited instead of nervous.

I had the opportunity to share about Door of Hope and my heart for it at two school assemblies. The first one was a high school and the second a middle school. Of course they pay attention because I have an accent. Anytime we hear someone from overseas speak, we listen carefully not to miss anything, plus it’s also interesting and different.

I work at Baby House 3 in the office. I am being trained by Marcelle who had the position before me and learning a lot. I’m not only learning about my job but also more about Jesus, as she is a very wise, patient, lovely lady who always pushes me to Jesus. My days consist of answering the phone, emails, taking notes, eating lunch with the toddlers and currently learning new things and how to do my job more effectively. 

Jesus has continuously paved the way and even in the bumps, He’s taught me humility. I yearn to grow and be stretched so that I can become more like Him. Seeking Him in the darkness when I’m clueless of what’s going on or how to handle a situation. Leaning into Him when times of loneliness or unworthiness come. Praising Him when He teaches me new things or I finally understand something. Thankful for Him and how He has been so patient with me.

I hope to keep you updated as much as possible. Thank you for trekking with me along this journey and being so supportive. 

New Season...

I arrived in Johannesburg, South Africa on Friday February 5th. Since then I have jumped head first into life here. As most of you know, this is where I consider home as well. I have been given the opportunity to help Door of Hope in lots of areas. It’s amazing to me to see how the Lord's hand has been in and through everything leading up to where I am now. Let's go back in time and remember where I was a few months ago.

I started praying about returning to Africa in March of 2015. I asked a core group of intercessors to pray with me. We prayed that the Lord would clearly speak to me if this was His plan and not just my own. I got a lot of confirmation that month. That spring boarded me into FUGE camps for my fifth and last summer working with them. When I returned from camp I started in October fundraising and started off well. There were a few bumps along the way of fundraising but I knew the Lord would finish what He started and even if I did not receive the full amount needed, I am trusting He will provide for however long I am here.

In January, Hannah and I planned our trip to Washington, D.C. It was my first time in our nation’s capital. I was more nervous going there than I ever have been going to another country. Have you seen all the political movies of things being blown up there? Yeah, not where I wanted to go even though I know it's not real. We rode a Megabus 15 hours to Washington, D.C. overnight. We arrived around 10:30 and we needed to ride the Metro and walk a few blocks to get to the Embassy by closing time which was 12:30. Long story short, we made it. We made it to the Embassy in time, we got an FBI background check (which takes up to 6 weeks or longer) done in one day and emailed to us the next day. It was the most I've ever been stretched in my life. I was completely out of my comfort zone the whole way there and the entire time I was there. It was emotionally, physically and spiritually draining. I was pooped. But guys, I'm here to tell you that pushing through hard things and running the race even when you're completely spent is worth it. Worth it. You hear me? WORTH IT. 

After returning from D.C. Hannah and I waited for our visas. We anticipated the length of time they would give us. We were praying for at least a year. Jesus gave us two. I've learned that when it's His will, He sometimes exceeds your expectations and wows you in the biggest way possible. He wowed us. 

Since I arrived the beginning of February, I've had the greatest welcoming anyone could receive.

I can't begin to tell you what it feels like to be doing what the Lord has called me to do. I've known for a very long time this is exactly what the Lord wants me to do. Not only to do what we are called to do as Christians, but as an individual, what I'm doing in the very place I'm doing it is the best thing I’ve ever been a part of. 

Thankful heart...

I have been preparing to return to South Africa. In the time of waiting, I have been so overwhelmed at the confirmation the Lord has given me. He has surrounded me with so many people who are consistently supporting, praying, giving, encouraging and simply being the Church to me. I have a lot to do to prepare for this next season but I’m excited for all that’s to come. I am currently doing an Indiegogo campaign to help with the last bit of funds I need to return. I have $4,000 of the $10,000 I need. I am asking to raise $7,000 before December 19^th (my birthday). I have received $1,050 of that already! I want to thank all of you who have prayed, given and encouraged me to this point. I know I would not be able to do it without the support of Jesus loving people. Because of YOU I’m able to live out my dream and be a part of something bigger than myself. Because of YOU I’m able to go serve Jesus with my gifts and talents He has given me. Because of YOU I’m able to go and be Jesus to those who desperately need Him. Because of YOU I am able to thrive in my element and truly come alive in a place I feel like I was made for. Because of YOU I’m able to go love the sweetest/cutest children in the world. (Yes, I am bias). Thank you from the bottom to the top of my heart. I pray the blessing you have given me will be returned to you 100 fold. I hope you had a wonderful thanksgiving holiday!

if you would like to give to the campaign here is the link to copy and paste :

https://www.indiegogo.com/projects/miss-amanda-the-babies/x/10052294#/

Live Boldly Continued…

Recently I had a conversation about rough neighborhoods. Yes, this is random but we were talking about why Christian's don't move into the "rough" areas in town. As Christian's, we are called to be the Light. To be His Light. 

Think of dark areas in your town. Is someone carrying/living the Light in that area? If we can't think of anyone, why aren't we? Why don't we carry the Light in the dark places of town? Fear, rejection, failure? In believing these lies are we not in turn saying to God "You're not powerful enough"? We think "It's too dangerous, they are too lost, they will not listen." Our job is to do what He has asked us to do, not question it. If He has called us to proclaim the Gospel to everyone, why are we not going to the areas that might be considered "rough"? 

I feel like us, as Christian's, tend to get comfortable in our own little neighborhoods and forget the ones who are lost and dying in those "rough" areas. Christian community is important and I completely understand that. We need that to encourage and build each other up. Yet, we get too comfortable in our community. We forget to be the Light in the darkness because we are too scared to go there. 

When I was in South Africa I remember going to see the squatter camps. I felt my heart break into for those people. My first thought was "How can I help?" My second thought was "It has to be very dangerous there." I went from one extreme to another. How can I help, what can I do, use me Lord, to I'm scared, how will I make a difference, what use is one person? Oh, how we have missed the mark. Jesus tells us it may be dangerous, it may be hard, it may be sacrificial. In knowing all of these things and also knowing how BIG and Powerful our God is, why do we not dive head first in faith and say OK, let's do this Jesus? 

Live Boldly...

It's 1:05am and my mind is racing. Jesus is teaching me new things and I feel the need to share. Having Grassroots coffee at 7:50pm probably wasn't the best idea, but hey, if I didn't drink it, I wouldn't be up writing this to you. 

Why do we not live dangerously. Don't misinterpret what I'm saying here. Why do we not live knowing our God is strong in us? Do you hear me? There is a HUGE "we" in this because He is teaching ME this now. I was listening to a song tonight by Bethel Music called Strong In Us. Here are a few of the lyrics:

"He is the Risen One, the same Power that raised Him up is the same Power that lives in us."

Think about this. Dwell on this. The same Power that raised Jesus up from the dead is the same Power we have inside US. He is in US. He is strong in US. 

I am quick to put limitations on God. I am quick to not give Him enough credit in His Power. I am quick to humanize (is that a word?) Him to where I hinder myself from the things He wants to do through me. He has such amazing plans for US. His plans are HUGE. I feel sometimes we don't dream big enough, pray big enough or love big enough. All of these things we are capable of doing because He is in US. I feel as if I am being repetitive but guys are we really grasping this concept? Maybe it's just me finding all this out for the first time. Or finally listening to what He has been saying to me for a while.

I have a hard time stopping and listening to Jesus. I avoid Him at times because I am too afraid of the GRAND things He has for me. Yes, this does sound crazy. I am scared of what GREAT things the Lord has for me. Lies race through my head. Will I fail? Will I stray from what He wants me to do? Will I not be good enough in the task. These are all lies. It's not the "I's" I should be focusing on. He will not fail. He will not stray. He is better than good enough. When will I realize all of these doubts and limitations I am putting on myself, I am also putting on the Lord. He is fully capable of doing anything He wants. And He wants to use me!

In my bible study Beth Moore says this:

"Beloved, Satan is a liar! (Can I get an amen). He knows if you and I take this thing about God's love seriously, we might become a John or Paul in our generation. Oh, let's glorify God, spite the devil, and do it! It's not too late. Take your pulse. If your heart is still beating, it's worth healing. Here's the catch, however: God's method of healing a condemning heart is to love it to death…then create in us a new heart. A healthier heart. A heart filled with faith instead of fear. His perfect love the only thing that will drive out that fear of ours." 

In reading this we should ask the Lord to "create in us a new heart". He has the power to fully restore us. Why don't we let Him? He has the power to fill our hearts with faith instead of fear. Why are we hindering Him of this? 

Saying "See ya later"…

As most of you have noticed, I am back on US soil. I arrived in Atlanta January 17th. It was so crazy for me to think I had just left Africa the day before and I was in the US the day after. I could say "Yesterday, in Africa…." It was strange to me. So in saying that let me talk about January 16th.

The day came. The day that I had been excited for as well as dreaded. I woke up early, got all of my stuff together and ready to load in the van. Who am I kidding, I loaded it in the van right when my stuff was packed. I spent a lot of time that morning reflecting, listening and talking to Jesus. I heard the toddlers screaming and crying thinking I was actually going to miss that noise. I reflected on my times there, good, great and awesome. I thought about the babies and toddlers individually. I thought about their personalities and how Jesus had rescued them. I believe He rescued them for something great He has for them, now and the future. Each and every child there has a story of physical rescuing and I pray that later in their life they will learn of spiritual rescuing. 

As I went upstairs to say my goodbyes I hugged and kissed each baby thinking in my head, "I will never see this face again because I know Jesus has a family for you". My heart was so full of peace and contentment. Praising the Lord for allowing me to love on His little ones for a small amount of time. I know the Lord has big plans for each of His children. I just feel a little biased to think He has something extremely big for the babies who leave Door of Hope. These sweet angels are loved more and cared for with Love and Concern that only comes from Jesus. Jesus pours out of every volunteer, Auntie and Staff. These babies know Jesus the instant they are brought to the Door of Hope. They encounter Him everyday through the people who work there. I'm honored to have been apart of that. 

Leaving my sweet Boo Bear was the hardest. (No his name isn't Boo Bear, I just called him that. Plus, I can't tell you his real name for his safety) Naturally volunteers get attached to one baby. It just happens. You don't expect it to happen and then BAM instant love for one individual baby that is just a little different than the others. I didn't choose Boo Bear, he chose me. At the time I had already had a favorite baby girl working in Big Babies. I was switched to Small Babies and little did I know my sweet Boo Bear would arrive from the hospital that day. He was coming back from having some complications so I didn't get to know him when I first came because he had been in the hospital. At the end of the day, all the babies were sleeping and I hear cooing from his crib. I walk over, lean down and say "Boy! What are you doing? You're supposed to be sleeping like your friends!" He looked at me with seriousness in his eyes (like he was processing what I was saying) and just smiled the biggest smile at me. Glory Glory. I am certain there was a choir behind me singing. My heart melted and then and there I feel in love with a baby boy who would only know me for a few months. I'm grateful Jesus gave me time with Boo Bear so that I can get a small glimpse of a mother's love. He allowed me to experience the one thing I want more than anything in life and that is to be a mommy. I know when I have my own kids it will obviously be different. I just got to see a "sneak preview" and it was glorious. 

Saying "See ya later" to all the Aunties was extremely hard. They were my friends, sisters and mothers. They showed and taught me so many things. From not freaking out over a baby being constipated, to how to really love and show love to those sweet babies. The Aunties were the most genuine ladies I've ever met. They prayed over me, encouraged me, taught me tough things and made me laugh so hard I might have cracked a rib. I will always have a special place in my heart for each and every one of the Aunties at the Door of Hope. 

Door of Hope changed my life. I will be eternally grateful for my time spent there. 

Potty Training…

I'm sure it's the dreaded two words of any parent. Here, we have quite a few toddlers who are at the age to be potty trained. Yesterday, there were three aunties who were working in toddlers so it was the day to start the journey to wringing the pot and praising the wringer. Here is how it all began.

I woke up yesterday morning with hearing Auntie Mary saying over and over and over like a broken record, "You must wee wee in the potty, you must caca in the potty." So, being curious, I made some cereal and walked outside. I saw little heads peeking out over the bushes with the look of puppies in the pet shop windows. I walked up the stairs to see the most hysterical site. SIX, toddlers all sitting on tiny little potties outside on the patio. Lined up like dominos and with the faces of Droopy. I pulled up a chair, sat in front of them eating my cereal and laughed. 

Since there are only five potties for the toddlers to sit in, one of our sweet little angels had to sit in a toy truck. I'm sure that toy had seen its days of dumping dirt and other objects, now to be demoted to being dumped in. They sat outside almost all day. They ate their lunch and dinner on the potty. They drank their milk on the potty. They had their snack on the potty. When they did wee wee on the plastic bowl type thrones, the aunties made a big deal about it and rewarded them. The rewards were a sticker or a cookie. Honestly, I would have rewarded them with prunes because by this time there was no cacaing yet. 

After a long time sitting on the kiddie jons, the aunties decided they might need time to play outside. I'm glad they came to that conclusion. The toddlers had begun to have permanent rings indented into their bums. One of the more mischievous toddlers was very excited to get off the potty. He jumped up, ran to get his pants on and walked down the stairs into his temporary freedom. As soon as he reached the grass, he peed in his pants. I have never laughed so hard. He was the one who had been sitting there since breakfast, and it was lunch time and he peed after 10 seconds of coming off the potty. 

I wanted to count how many times I heard Auntie Mary say"You must wee wee in the potty you must poo poo in the potty. You must NOT wee wee in your pants, you must NOT caca in your pants." I decided there isn't a number high enough. SO…look out toilets and unused nappies because these toddlers mean business. Well, almost. 

Reminiscing…

Working FUGE camps for 3 years, I've learned a few things. One, you need to remember the things that happen and two you need to remember the things people say. Usually it's hilarious. So at camp we have a Say What and a Remember When poster. I came up with the idea to do the same thing here while in South Africa because let me tell you, some hilarious things happen when you are around kids. So here is some insight to funny things that have happened since I've been here. 

SAY WHAT!?

The toddlers, after every prayer we sing for their eating times, say as loud as they can AMEN. They don't worry about singing the prayer. They only thing they worry about is saying AMEN! And they don't just say it, they shout it. (I'm totally doing this from now on).

We were marrying off the babies to each other one day. Just saying who would grow up and get married to the other. An Auntie informed me that sick babies have to grow up and marry sick babies. (What in the world?)

Also, we all come up with occupations the babies will have when they grow up. We have several pastors and deacons. A few pastors wives, a rugby player, a game warden, a few dancers, singers, comedian, teachers and a stay at home mom. These kids futures are so bright it hurts our eyes!

In toddles, we have Bible story time and if the Bible story is longer than one page the Auntie just says "Ok, Bible Story time is OVER." Seriously? The kids just thinks Daniel stayed in the lions den. They have to know what happens next!

Auntie phrases are:

 "You know what they call?"

"Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh, Eh,"

"What, What, What, What"

"You, You, You, You"

"That boy."

"Yes, Love"

(These are just a few I could remember.)

When you ask the toddlers what color something is they always say purple. (No idea why, I'm pretty sure we took purple completely out of the colors we teach them only because they think everything is purple. Maybe we should get their eyes checked or stop letting them watch Barney.)

When we say "Knock, knock, knock" all the toddlers run to the door and knock on it. Then we have to start singing "Show Them". That means they have to dance. What a joy it is to see a two year old boggie down better than someone my age. Some serious bootie dancing happens. 

REMEMBER WHEN!?

It rained all day and that night we decided to walk to the Glen to watch a movie. As we were walking to the movies I said to the girls "Guys, be careful it's really slippery here." As soon as they came out of my mouth I did a split in the middle of the food court. Good grief.

Unmatched socks around here are the norm.

If we hear a baby cry, we all try to figure out who it is. (Usually we're right. It's a really weird game.)

I've broken a few things since I've been here…like the TV, a few dishes and the washing machine. (Seriously Amanda! Pull yourself together.)

One of the Aunties left the tub running one day and flooded the down stairs. (Real life people, real life.) (Try mopping up a flood…ain't gonna happen.)

One night we thought it would be a good idea to walk in the pouring rain to the Glen to see a movie. (Horrible idea) (Rain bullets to the face isn't pleasant and not worth any movie in my opinion) 

When two of the volunteers wanted to go bungee jumping from the Orlando Towers in Soweto, I was like, "Yeah that sounds fun, lets go". So we went, and paid to ride the lift up the side of the tower. I knew I was scared of heights, I just didn't know how bad. I basically crawled into a ball, on the floor and rocked back and forth having a legit panic attack. I might have cried a little too and also asked how long we had to stay up there…every couple of seconds. (I was never more happy to see the ground in my life)

I've gotten kissed by an elephant. (Well, that's a kiss I won't forget. He was 17.)

In Africa, all you can do is question your life. 

I've seen too many turds floating in a tub to last me a lifetime. 

Our pool is currently un-swimable (I totally just made up that word.) (The bold red line underneath is telling me so.) Seriously, looking at it I feel as if I'm catching a disease. So….we volunteers took it upon ourselves to break out the kiddie pools when its really hot and just sit in them. We get a kiddie pool to ourselves so it's pretty nice.

We made friends with the KFC delivery guy. (This is just sad.)

I've never been peed on, puked on, sneezed on, coughed on or yes, even pooped on more in my life. It's just the norm and you learn how strong you really are. 

I noticed a few days ago I've got grey highlights in my hair. 

One of our babies imitates a native bird here so well. I'm pretty sure she has heard the bird from outside her window and now she makes the sound all the time. It's quite hilarious actually. (YouTube Hadidas.)

Playing Phase 10 with 8 people is pointless. 

You can NEVER watch too many episodes of Friends. 

These are only a few of the hilarious things that have happened since I've been here. Yes, they are probably one of those "You had to be there kind of moments" but I just wanted to share them with you anyway. 

Leaving...

I have 14 days left at Door of Hope. FOURTEEN people. My mind is racing at night so I am not sleeping well. I try to spend as much time as I can with the babies and toddlers, working and on my days off. It's really starting to hit me I will be leaving soon. I'm freaking out. Soon always comes too early. I've been praying that the Lord would allow this transition to be as painless as possible. Of course I am ready to get a big bear hug from my Daddy, a hug and kiss on the cheek from my Momma, a jump in the arms and squeeze around the neck from my little sister, an awkward side hug from my brother and a sweet embrace from my Nanny. I am looking forward to all of the things of going home and being with my wonderful family and supportive friends. That doesn't make it less hard to leave. It does give me something to look forward to. Bitter sweet is a term most people use to describe this feeling. I wouldn't describe it like that. Honestly, I don't know how I would describe it. 

Five months ago I came here not knowing exactly what the Lord wanted to show or teach me. Oh, how He loves His people and loves them enough to show them that love everyday. He has shown me, not only through the people in South Africa but also through people at home. People who are praying for me everyday and giving me words of encouragement. People who have financially supported me and what the Lord is doing here. I've been so humbled and blessed to see the Lord's children give back the love He has given them through all of these things. Thank you guys.

I'm having a hard time these last couple of weeks to deal with the heartbreak that happens every time I think of leaving. I know the Lord has had me here for this time and I know my time in South Africa is done for now, it's still not easy to say goodbye. Is it ever easy? I have experienced at least 10 or more adoptions since I have arrived. Those were easy goodbyes. I was able to kiss them on the head and watch them leave to go and meet their forever families. Having seen those beautiful babies leave and know they have gone to great homes has given me a picture of adoption. I know that every child here will receive the same forever families as the children in the past have. 

I ask of you sweet brothers and sisters of Christ to pray that I am able to leave this place with feelings of joy, peace and contentment. I don't want to be upset or brokenhearted when I leave. I want to leave with the fulfillment of knowing Jesus used me in the time He needed me here and going home He has new adventures ahead. I could not have done this journey without you or Him.

Reality...

So something struck me a few nights ago. Hard. After we dropped off an international volunteer at the airport we drove a ways out of JoBurg into an area I had not yet been. Cory, our volunteer coordinator's husband, said he wanted us to see some squatter camps. I had seen some before from a distance but as we drove up to them my heart sank. Tears started rolling down my face as I looked poverty straight in the eyes. I began to ask Jesus what in the world must we do about this? What can we do? I literally panicked in my Spirit. I have seen poverty at its worst and this made that look like middle class.

Spread out over a large area was small, metal, square shelters that are patched together. There is no electricity, no running water, nothing that looks different. Everything looks the same. The ground was muddy with water and sewage. There is no bathrooms. Some of these people are immigrants and some of them are unemployed South Africans. As we drove by and I could feel my heart breaking for these people. All I thought was they have to know there is hope in Jesus.

As we drove by, I did see shelters and filth, but I also saw people. Hearts. I saw mothers who struggle with providing necessities for their families to survive. I saw fathers who felt like failures from not being able to provide for their families. I thought about how difficult it must be to be different as an individual in an area where everything looks the same. I'm sure if someone stands out, others might become jealous/envious and steal what the other has. I thought about how hard it might be to be hopeful in anything.

Cory told us that the worst things go on in the squatter camps. Things like human trafficking, rape, drugs, abuse and anything else the enemy could perverse someone into doing.

I got the worst feeling in my Spirit as I looked out over that vast area of darkness and asked the Lord to not let that feeling disappear. I want to be aware of places in need. I don't want to become so wrapped up in my own life that I forget the needs of others around me. My heart is still broken from the sight of those squatter camps. I wish I was able to take a picture so I could have a reminder of how desperate our world is for Jesus. Even though this burden isn't fun to have, I don't want it to go away. As soon as it does I become selfish again and fixated on my own life and small problems. I want to constantly remember those squatter camps and pray for the people in them.

I thought of the song by All Sons and Daughters "All the Poor and Powerless" as we were driving by. Take time to read these lyrics and pray over these people who live in the squatter camps. They need hope and to know that hope comes from Jesus.

"All the Poor and Powerless" By: All Sons and Daughters

All the poor and powerless

All the lost and lonely

All the thieves will come confess

And know that You are Holy

And know that You are Holy

And all will sing out hallelujah

And we will cry out hallelujah

And all will sing out hallelujah 

And we will cry out hallelujah

All the hearts who are content

And all who feel unworthy

All that hurt with nothing left

Will know that You are Holy

Will know that You are Holy

And all will sing out hallelujah

And we will cry out hallelujah

And all will sing out hallelujah 

And we will cry out hallelujah

Shout it

Go on and scream it from the mountains

Go on and tell it to the masses

That He is God

And we will sing out hallelujah

And we will cry out hallelujah

And we will sing out hallelujah

Heaven on Earth…

I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks about Heaven. I mean, we should think about it. It's where we, as believers of Jesus Christ, will end up spending eternity. In other words think of the kid from The Sandlot (his name is Squints) F-O-R-E-V-E-R! (And I know you totally just said it in the same voice he does.) Today I got a glimpse of Heaven. Of course our finite minds can not comprehend the wonders and glorious things we will encounter there. All we can do is imagine. 

I believe Berea Baptist Mission Church is a small glimpse of how Heaven will be. Located on a super dangerous street beside other cults and evils, is nestled this church that shines Jesus' light so brightly. As we turned down the street today, I felt my Spirit become uneasy. You know how when you are around evil and your Spirit gets restless inside you and it's not a good feeling. That's how I felt just turning down the street heading to church. As soon as we pulled into the church I felt that feeling go away immediately. I felt such a peace and joy. I felt Jesus. 

We were early so we sat and I smiled and said Hi to a few people who were there early as well. They start on time regardless of how many people are there. People come in as they please and during worship no one misses a beat. No one is distracted. We worshipped for a solid hour. I can't even tell you how many songs we sang. There was so much JOY, EXCITEMENT, GENUINENESS, HEARTFELT WORSHIP. 

I have experienced the same worshipping before. It was exactly two years ago in the exact place. Berea Baptist Mission Church. People are so free. There is no judgement. You worship however you want. Little kids go to the front and dance if they want to. People clap, people dance, people, sing to the top of their voices, people raise their hands, people shout, people worship their Savior like I imagine we will one day soon. 

I wish I could just uproot all the people and the actual church in Hillbrow and bring them home with me so I can experience that every Sunday. My heart is so full and I am so blessed to be apart of God's house today at Berea Baptist Mission Church. It will always be forever locked in my most treasured memories. 

Thanksgiving…

So it's that time of year. The time where we give thanks for all that we have. Even though we should be doing it everyday. It's still nice to have one day designated for giving thanks and celebrate by being with family and friends. 

I am extremely thankful for the people who funded me coming here to South Africa. I knew after the first moment I arrived here on December 28, 2011 that I would be back for a longer period. I just didn't know when that would be, Jesus did. 

I want to say thank you for the people who are praying for me. I know that I am being prayed for because at times when I feel I can't go on, Jesus gives me the push I need to persevere. I know that's from people praying. It's been a humbling experience for me. Knowing the supporters I have back home cheering me on and giving the praise to God. Thank you. You know who you are.

I want to say thank you to my best friend and partner in crime, Krista Miller. You pushed me in the times where I wanted to give up and throw in the towel. Everyone needs a friend like you. Someone who prays fervently and passionately for them, a person who you can be yourself around and there is no judgement, a friend who you can talk to about anything and know that they will always be there for you. I know without you, I would not be here. Thank you for being the best friend Jesus intended for me. 

I want to give a special thanks to my beautiful parents. Momma and Daddy, if you had not been the most supportive, caring, loving, Jesus pointing parents, I would not be here where Jesus wants me. Growing up I knew my family was different. I knew I had two of the greatest parents I could have asked for. I just didn't thank the Lord enough because I took it for granted. Yes, I still do take it for granted (but not as much). Thanks Momma and Daddy for bringing me up in church so I could know Jesus at an early age. Thank you for making me feel prized, special, cherished and upheld in a way that I strive everyday to remain in. Most importantly thank you for your love. I know without a doubt that I have always been loved by the both of you. 

In saying all of this, take time to thank the Lord for all of His blessings. Thank Him for His death, burial and resurrection.  Thank Him for the sun, moon, stars, things in nature, your family, friends and finances. He deserves our thanks.  

Two Names…

Before we are born our parents think long and hard about what we are to be named. They might fuss about one or two names but finally come to an agreement on the name they think is perfect for the special little child they will have soon. 

The Door of Hope allows long term volunteers to name the babies that come to us without a name. Since I am considered a long term volunteer, I figured I would be able to give a name to a precious little one when my time came. 

I have a weird obsession with names. I've always enjoyed knowing the meanings of names. Example my name means worthy of love. BOOM. It was a very big deal in Jesus' time to have meaning in the names someone would choose for their baby. I also think it's very important. I have had a boy and girl name picked out for a while so I could be prepared to name a baby.

Today was the day. I was actually sending my mom a voice message on Voxer when Nadene, our baby house manager, came to my room and said she had a baby for me to name. I was so excited. When I got there and told her the name I wanted to give him (which is two names) she said he already had a middle name and so having three names and his last name would be too much. So I gave him the name that fit best with his middle name.

There was another baby boy who needed a name as well and since I was not able to name the first baby the double name I wanted to give him, Nadene gave him the second name I wanted to give the first baby. 

I got to name two precious baby boys. Talk about a highlight in my time here. Names are very important to me as well as their meanings. These names and meanings are perfect for these sweet babies that the Lord rescued. I'm so blessed that I was able to name these two angels. 

*For the safety of the baby I cannot tell you their names. Just that I got to name them. That's exciting in itself!