The month of May has been a very difficult one. The
newness has set in and the “honeymoon” is over. Now my committed feet are
completely planted. In that, of course, comes the big wrecking ball of
insecurity, loneliness, worry and negativity. We all know the enemy doesn’t
like it when followers of Jesus follow Jesus and do His work. He seeks to
destroy it and create chaos. I don’t like sharing personal struggles publicly but in order to receive Godly consul, encouragement and prayer we need to be
transparent with each other. So here is my transparency.
Here lately I have felt exhausted physically,
mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It’s been going on for a while and is
getting much better. Without the encouragement of my Jesus family, I know I
wouldn’t be doing as well. I’ve had so many Godly people send me scripture,
words of wisdom and prayers. I’ve been so thankful for it. I am very blessed by
this amazing community the Lord has given me.
Staying focused isn’t a strong point of mine. I tend
to be very forgetful and in that, when I plan to do something I usually forget
what that is within a couple of minutes. I have notes all over my desk at work
that help me remember things. In saying that, I get very distracted during my
quiet time and I also forget to do it sometimes. Just being honest people. No
one freak out. I’ll be even more honest and say people who act like they have
everything together and they live this perfect Christian life are usually my
least favorite people to be around. So there’s that.
So here are a few little nuggets I’ve learned this
month or should I say relearned. Spending time with Jesus is vital to our walk
with Him. I can’t have a relationship with someone I don’t talk to and don’t
spend time with. Second nugget is I can’t properly function as a follower of
Jesus without community. It’s knitted into my being and that’s how I’m wired.
Without community I’m a wreck. I thrive being around people who love the Lord.
Just like sushi needs rice, I need community.
I’ve named this blog Refiner’s Fire because I want to
include a devotion that spoke to me recently. Being in the mission field is
super hard people. I now have so much more respect for our missionaries. They
are on the front lines of the battle field and need so much of our
encouragement. I would urge you to adopt a missionary family to consistently pray
for. I’m sure a lot of you already do this. You could even have a picture of
them in your house somewhere to remind you of them. I’m realizing more and more
the missionaries are our true heroes.
Below is my devotion, I hope it inspires you as much
as it did me.
Revelation 3:19 says those whom I love I rebuke and
discipline.
Rarely do we view the difficult circumstances of life
as statements of Jesus’ love for us. We more likely interpret them as
interruptions in our walk with God. In our best moments, we may interpret these
interruptions as tools God will use to stretch our faith; in our worst moments,
we may even see them as His disfavor. But we still tend to view them as
distractions from the course he would have us pursue.
But God’s hand is in even the most difficult
circumstances, letting affliction have its deepest results. This is His chosen
path for us, not a diversion from it. Whether He is letting hardship strengthen
our faith, or disciplining us for some sin, as in this verse, He is always Lord
of our situation. The superficial source of our hardship may be easier to discern;
we see Satan, other people, chance, our own sin, or a variety of other causes
as the root of our affliction. But God is sovereign over all of them, and He is
specific in His purposes. If we are in pain, He knows it and He allowed it to
happen.
We can take comfort in the fact that God id behind our
trials. He does not train those whom He does not intend to use in wonderful
ways. Though we may suffer at times, we suffer with a purpose. He has a plan
for us that only this type of hardship will prepare us for. He will develop our
character to prepare us for His purposes, and His method is like a refiner’s
fire.
Many times we pray to know Christ better, to have
deeper fellowship with Him, and to be more fruitful in His work. We must learn
that this prayer will likely result in more of the refiner’s fire, more time in
the training camp of His kingdom. Should we stop praying? Of course not. No one
who has been used mightily by God has avoided the difficult developing of their
character and faith. They have been through the fiery trials and would
willingly go through them again.
