I have 14 days left at Door of Hope. FOURTEEN people. My mind is racing at night so I am not sleeping well. I try to spend as much time as I can with the babies and toddlers, working and on my days off. It's really starting to hit me I will be leaving soon. I'm freaking out. Soon always comes too early. I've been praying that the Lord would allow this transition to be as painless as possible. Of course I am ready to get a big bear hug from my Daddy, a hug and kiss on the cheek from my Momma, a jump in the arms and squeeze around the neck from my little sister, an awkward side hug from my brother and a sweet embrace from my Nanny. I am looking forward to all of the things of going home and being with my wonderful family and supportive friends. That doesn't make it less hard to leave. It does give me something to look forward to. Bitter sweet is a term most people use to describe this feeling. I wouldn't describe it like that. Honestly, I don't know how I would describe it.
Five months ago I came here not knowing exactly what the Lord wanted to show or teach me. Oh, how He loves His people and loves them enough to show them that love everyday. He has shown me, not only through the people in South Africa but also through people at home. People who are praying for me everyday and giving me words of encouragement. People who have financially supported me and what the Lord is doing here. I've been so humbled and blessed to see the Lord's children give back the love He has given them through all of these things. Thank you guys.
I'm having a hard time these last couple of weeks to deal with the heartbreak that happens every time I think of leaving. I know the Lord has had me here for this time and I know my time in South Africa is done for now, it's still not easy to say goodbye. Is it ever easy? I have experienced at least 10 or more adoptions since I have arrived. Those were easy goodbyes. I was able to kiss them on the head and watch them leave to go and meet their forever families. Having seen those beautiful babies leave and know they have gone to great homes has given me a picture of adoption. I know that every child here will receive the same forever families as the children in the past have.
I ask of you sweet brothers and sisters of Christ to pray that I am able to leave this place with feelings of joy, peace and contentment. I don't want to be upset or brokenhearted when I leave. I want to leave with the fulfillment of knowing Jesus used me in the time He needed me here and going home He has new adventures ahead. I could not have done this journey without you or Him.
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